Its been a month and a month from now I will be preparing for my flight back to my home state!! I honestly want to remind everyone that some things take time but don't let time be what holds you back. There will be moments you'll have to choose between yourself and what you're use to, and you should choose yourself through it all.
I'm proud to say that I don't have children, I'm engaged, and I'm only 19. I know people who were my age and already had children or raising siblings still. My point is, I only have myself to take care of and I have to remind myself sometimes because i've been so use to not knowing what it looks like to put yourself first and even having the expectation to not be selfish.
I wasn't going to leave this early, but I realized that I'm not doing enough. My mom told me I need to get a job then blog,write, and make my webtoons on the side. That's not going to work for me. Where I stay has no public transportation, she wont practice driving with me, I haven't got my license (I have my permit), and jobs are not hiring. I can't stress myself in to depression because she thinks I'm not doing anything. I spend 7-8 hours a day drawing my webtoons, writing my book, and posting on my blog. She wants me to make money right now and it comes from a petty part of her because I don't want to work with her, doing the same thing she does.
I'm creative and I'm not made to do a job that's boring. I cant beat myself up because I want to have fun. My mom has always told me that in life I'll do things I don't want to do sometimes and I have to agree to disagree. I know life comes with complications and no instructions, but I can't pretend her philosophy is positive or correct. I have dreams still, I have goals, I want to live my life without a whisper in my ear about what someone thinks I should be doing because me and her we're not the same when she was my age.
I'm not trying to put my mom down either, I just know that she and I are different. I want anyone who is reading this to know that i'm a real person as well. It's easy to portray yourself as put together when you're not known by people.
Its time for me to leave officially and I'm not going to be stopped unless it's my own decision and I think everyone should follow that if they're happy, healthy, and safe. As people, we need to practice open mindedness and not judge others.
