How I Did Everything You Shouldn't in HS

Disclaimer: I did nothing too extreme but I definitely did a lot of shit in one year. I will be talking about weed and toxic relationships. there's a lot to keep up with and i'm giving everyone fake names because i'd be damned if i say the real ones.

My first year of high school was actually 10th grade because 9th grade I was in the mental hospital when everyone was going back after Covid (I'm old I know). Thanks to my great memory I relive these moments like embarrassing PTSD. 😭

When I started school I remember wanting to literally shit myself. ANYWHO, I had no friends the first week but when the second week came around, I was in my TENTH GRADE English class. I was put in a group with a guy and two girls. We had to do a project and the two girls weren't there so it was just me and the guy. I'll call him Roger lmao. Roger and I started talking with each other about work then it led to just interest. you know, the way you talk when your making a new friend. 

By the end of class he asked for my Instagram and I gave it to him. AT THE TIME, I thought he was a little cute too. We started talking more in and outside of school and became friends. I'd say around the end of August, he was telling me how his birthday was coming up and all that jazz. Me, being a regular person lol, I ask him how old he's turning. He tells me, 19.

I was shocked and blown away. This man was a super senior. SUPER. SENIOR. I tell him that's crazy and obviously he asked me why I thought that and I tell him it's because I'm 15. (almost ripped my hair out fr) Long story short, we talked about our ages for a little while and how we didn't know and couldn't tell that we were those ages. By the end of the night we agreed that we need to keep a distance and keep it just friends. (spoiler: that doesn't happen) He is all in this story so feel free to blame him for everything tbh.

My mom found out and she didn't want me being friends with him so we stopped talking for a week or two. in that time I got a boyfriend. (I don't know how anymore) Ill call him Trey. He was on the football team and this was my awakening to big boys hehehe. while me and him were dating I also met my brother's close friend. I'll call him Smith. he was in my grade and cute tbh. deep voice,tall, etc. NOW REMEMBER, I haven't seen boys my age since I was 13, so this was a new ball game for me. 

Trey was a nice boy but he was weird. When we first started dating he walked me to my bus after school and I thought it was so gentlemen like until he also got on the bus. I asked him if he's always rode my bus because tf you doing? why this dude tell me we live in the same complex??? WHAT. never paid any attention or notice him tbh. we get to our complex, (sit down for this) I'm walking to my house, and this dude lives right next door. like literally we share a fucking wall....

I thought it was so crazy at first but it was cute when he'd wait outside my door in the morning to go to school. Kinda gave romcom lol. Well, that relationship ended after a month. he had a girl best friend that was rude and would try to punk me and he would never stick up for me so i broke up with him. Let me just say, that was a wonderful decision because after we broke up HE STARTED BULLYING ME, like full on talking shit to me and how i dress or look. Well, that lead into me meeting one of his teammates. (we're still friends today unfortunately) I'll call him White. He was so fine, like imagine the finest boy at your school and then double it. 

White will never read this thank god because i got some confessing to do right now. We became friends after i broke up with Trey and it was cool but White wasnt always nice to me fr. He use to be sarcastic asf and sometimes back handed to me. Just me. We had a mutual friend named Bee and he was always nice to her. I still to this day dont know why but he never told me to leave him alone or not be friends with me so it was always very confusing. I shared the same class i had with Roger, with White. Roger didn't like him tbh for a couple reasons. 1. White wasn't nice to me. 2. White was a guy i liked. 

Roger stopped coming to school as often then eventually wasn't allowed on campus because he was failing and past the ability of graduating. So i'd spend classes with White. I eventually found out that White had a girlfriend. I was very jealous about it but it clicked why he'd be kinda mean. Anywho, I called him one night to play Roblox and he said yea and added me to a call with him and his girl. I'll call her Ally lmao. I was so confused but I just went with it and I started talking to her. She started telling me about how she's heard about me and how White talks about me. Girl I was shook lmao. had me on the phone like this:

He left his phone in the room for awhile and this girl started just telling all their business. Telling me how he turned her every way but loose and how he does certain things and I just sat there like "oh okay" like??? after awhile I left my phone in the room and I came back to these freaks talking dirty. almost kms not gonna hold you. Fast forward maybe a week or two (its like November-December now) I was telling Roger about how I didn't like Ally and how I wish they'd break up because White started becoming nicer to me after that call and how I KNOW he likes me. 

Roger decides to tell me he'll take his girl just for me. (best homeboy situationship moment I ever experienced sadly) He in fact did exactly that too. I gave him her IG and he went to work flirting and actually getting her to talk to him. Me on the other hand, was being the shoulder for White to cry on. (I feel guilty please believe me). Going in to winter break me, White, and Bee planned to go to the movies to see Avatar 3. I'll be honest I still barely remember that movie because me and White were talking and flirting the whole time. By the end of that night me and White confessed feelings for each other. Didn't date tho. 

He moved to another city and ghosted Ally. She wasn't very happy about that and Roger would tell me this when ever her and him got a chance to talk. I soon became distant with White through time. I was introduced to Rogers best friend through one of his posts. His name was The Devil but I'll call him D.

Im going to try and keep this short for my own mental health lmao. I thought he was cute in a picture and I would fan girl over him for like two months. Until one beautiful day in January, I get a message from Roger telling me he was at D's house. my goofy ass calls him. I was too geeked and I played like I just wanted to talk to Roger but I was trying to catch a glimpse of fine shyt frfr. Then, to my surprise he said hey to me. (lwk bring me back that day) He took the phone and was talking to me about how he heard I had a crush on him.

He got my IG and we were off and on for a year. it was absolutely hell and heaven at the same time. i was going back to him regardless of whoever i was with.

Now flash back to my brothers friend Smith. We were on and off flirting behind my brothers back through first semester but once second semester started we definitely were messing around. February came and I had hatched a plan on my brothers birthday. He was having this hangout with his friends and I told Smith he should come over so I can see him. He agreed and came over. We barely talked that night tbh. It wasn't until later that we started flirting.

 At night when everyone was chilling I was in my room changing into pjs and I walked out to ask my brother to un-do my necklace but he was there standing in front of my door. (scared the shit outta me fr but it was convenient lol) he took my necklace off me and it was like really cute at the time. being older now, I shouldn't have been that geeked to be quite frank. That same night he came in my room and we talked but didn't do anything we said in them messages LMFAO. 

PLEASE DO NOT DO THE FOLLOW!

That same month on Valentines Day, I was in my FIRST block class. 8am and excited because a boy I was cool with brought edibles for me and another girl. I took it and this was definitely my first time. I thought it was fake after 3 hours because nothing was happening. I went to two more classes and lunch in that time frame lol. when I was back in my third block class, I sat down and it hit me like a fucking bus. I thought I was floating. Everything I was thinking about doing IN MY HEAD, I was actually doing it real time. 

I was quickly brought back to earth when the bell rung for class to start. like I actually couldn't pay attention. I had to go to the bathroom faded and text my mom to get me. omg security came and escorted me because my mom told them I was having a panic attack. (I was to be fair) I was walking with security and the guy stopped walking to ask if I had asthma because I was breathing so hard. In my defense, I forgot how to be a normal person. 

My mom gave me a lecture and made me sleep it off. I still think it was super funny tbh. I think everything was smooth after that. Until about April, I started dating this guy online name James. We didn't last long but before I was dating him I liked this boy in my class named Ice. Ice and I also flirted a little and I would send him pictures (I was young and dumb) I stopped talking to him after I broke up with James. in that process I met Bob. He was friends with Ice and he wanted to date me but I didn't like him. 

One night I was on the phone with him and he tells me that Ice posted the pictures I sent him because Bob called me his girlfriend (so fucking childish btw) I told my Roger and D. It was a whole thing and it wasn't the best experience fr.

Over that weekend, D confessed he was in love with me and wanted to be exclusive. Not boyfriend and girlfriend but exclusive....my dumbass said yes. I was definitely obsessed with him and loved him. He definitely still sends me into psychosis. we haven't talked in a year and I'ma keep it that way. 

Side note: I was messing with Bobs best friend before everything blew up. he still doesn't know to this day but I was on that dreadhead like white on rice. 

well thank you for reading me exposing myself for fun. 

xoxo,

Yahna Marie