Moving on and out

 Its worth it all in the end. That overwhelming feeling you have to leave or be free is what's going to keep you going so don't lose it. I'm not just speaking from an outsiders point of view either, for the past year I've been having that feeling and for once I'm not planning around it with a schedule. I'm going to move to the other side of the country, back to my hometown, with my fiancee, and tell really no one. 

You may be asking yourself, "Why would she want to do that? why don't you just move to another city?" Well, to put it simply, I want to. Its just time for me to do my own thing and make my own decisions. You will hear people offer you things or opportunities to convince you that where you are is the best place for you to be and that's not always true. If that was the case, you wouldn't have that gnawing feeling. 

I live my life with countless mental list and fake deadlines to keep me on the "right" track but if you're anything like me, just leave. No one talks about how hard it is to turn away and choose yourself after not doing it for so long. That's okay. It's so normal to feel but its not normal to feel trapped.

Don't be scared of vulnerability to the people who understand you most. a significant other, siblings, parents, friends, etc. It's always good to have people to lean on that support you. My fiancee is the one person who I tell everything to without a second thought. keep people like that close always. It'll benefit you and them more than you think.

When you finally make your move, let yourself grieve. you'll thank yourself later, trust me. Letting go is 100% part of the process but in order for that to happen you have to let yourself be free emotionally. Don't beat yourself up either if things don't immediately fall in order how you planned. i've learned that sometimes, plans aren't always fool proof, but that's apart of learning in life. Be optimistic but realistic as well. 

Enjoy your life! Life is always about choices and decisions, so why not make the ones you want. Keep the people who support you around when things feel hard. Don't bring yourself down because your ego won't let you express to others in fear of embarrassment. LIVE HAPPILY! TAKE THAT RISK! Love yourself first before you forget who you are.

xoxo, Yahna Marie